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Mr President, are the French being allowed in?

Blimey, and I get accused of acting like Peggy. :rolleyes: Accepted.

Agreed.

I can see why Mr President didn't want you in...

I don't think you've got the hang of this for one second. To ensure membership, wit, sophistication and personality must be combined with sartorial elegance. BOTH are required. One of the pre-determining features of this club is that members are dressed elegantly, smart jackets, crisp shirts...

That is evidence of fey prissiness. This is supposed to be a club for connoisseurs, of sophistication. Dressing like a nancy is not a mark of that. He's not even wearing a jacket.

And interlopers who cannot read.

If Mr Souness is voted out by the committee, his membership will of course be declined.

I can re-consider Mr Souness' membership if it is the wish of the committee. However, I must hold firm on the point that the acceptance of Signor Collina is conditional on evidence being provided of sartorial eloquence.

No evidence provided of his sartorial elegance.

Declined pending further evidence. A re-application would be welcomed.

Correct to both. Moustaches are allowed at the discretion of the Membership Secretary. Mr Souness is welcome to Club Gus. His moustache isn't.

A word to the wise. Discretion is the key here. This club does not submit to tantrums. Upon understanding of this, welcome. Mr Gullit is admitted as a member.

Guests are welcome, provided they are signed in by a member. However, said guest must adhere to all the rules (as yet unwritten) of the club. Members forego all privileges if the guest(s) step outside these rules. There will be no warning.

Seconded.

Who are the committee members thus far?

Excellent. Right, members thus far... Gus Poyet (Patron) Joachim Low Roberto Donadoni Jose Mourinho Fabio Cappello Senior members Roy Hodgson And can I ask Rebecca to impose a Court Order on John Barnes?

Mr Ten and Mr Simster I would like to apply for the position of Membership Secretary at Club Gus. I can spell, count, write and think without falling over. I am discrete, discerning, yet can organise a good bash while filtering out the riff-raff from the hatstands from the gentlemen. A prompt...

Can I apply for the membership secretary role? I can spell and I have four Gresham Blake shirts and no ties.

Another Italian...