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Nothing evokes nostalgic images of rural England, of Constables Haywain, babbling brooks running into ice still mill ponds, of rosy cheeked vicars daughters cavorting in the golden hayfields with the big eared boys from the farm , of the villagers pitching in with the harvest because Old Farmer...

I saw that. He'll thank his mum when he gets back to school and all his schoolmates rip it out of him for chickening out. It's the mum's fault anyway. Here's how this should have played out: "Mum can I go on the zip wire" "No. It's £30" "But I really want to" "You're 8, it doesn't matter what...