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If you've been to Tenerife he's been to Elevenarife. Another thing I hate about holidays is when your girlfriend puts all her bags and other needless shite down on the airport hall floor to find her lip balm, picks up every bit of natty tat she'd deemed necessary to have on an hour and a half...

I think the thing is with kids on holidays is some parents are going on holiday purely for themselves. They want to sit in the sun by the pool getting sozzled all day. They figure if the kids have unlimited access to burgers, crisps and pop they will be happy. They may be for a time but will...

I think he likes to go in early and smush up all the vol-au-vants and throw sandwiches on the floor.

Same. People assume because you are not delighted and spellbound when kids are around assume you don't like kids. I do like kids, they can be great. I like sharks. I don't have any of them either.

Don't hate the presence of children, go on regular camping trips and days out with friends and their kiddies. It's a preference of mine to go on holidays where there will unlikely be children around. We would be unlikely to book an all inclusive poolside holiday where there are gonna be families...

I always try and pick a destination that will have minimal children present. Deliberately don't have children and don't particularly wish to be around them on our holidays. I don't mind them if they are behaved but inevitably children sat in a pub or restaurant are going to get bored and...