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Written on purpose.

CAshworth sniffing around my boy for £13m. Looks like Newcastle signed to wrong head of recruitment.

Still me pissing about. Absolutely not a rumour, but Ludo has 10 goals already this season. Second in the Ligue 1 goal scoring chart with... .... Martin Terrier. A bloody Frenchie called Martin Terrier - come on people we NEED him. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Terrier

Also he craps all over Welbeck and Maupay when it comes to value in Scrabble. Could be a new metric.

Show some class Winstano (when back from his holiday) can't just introduce himself and instantly feel for cup size. These things need finessing.

So but that's the wrong answer. The first reply had to be Carter USM - it's the law.

Not a rumour just me pissing about but... Ludo is 27 years old French. Plays for Strasbourg. Scored 16 goals last season. Now for the cherry on the cake:- He is just 4cms shorter than Big Dan Burn. Or if you prefer 37cms taller than Not So Big Tariq Lamptey. But wait there's even more. We...