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Dairylea on toast. Are you a communist?

It would have been fine had I not been bound by the noggin conundrum. Clearly marmalade has no place on a crust. I'm not having the formidable tang of marmite compromised to the sweetness of Frank Cooper's Original Oxford marmalade.

Brovil is strictly a bi-weekly event between the months of December and February (inclusive). At which point I pray we don't score in the first 25 mins of the second half.

Savoury and sweet is all fine and dandy at 8pm after a day of tastebud abuse, but not at 8am. I wish id just left the regular slice buttered and double dosed the noggin with Marmite. I tried to have my toast and eat it, but failed, and let everybody down.

Do you have no taste buds? Marmalade and marmite in the same sitting. CRAZY TALK FROM A CRAZY PERSON.

Sorry to add more misery to an already grumpy board, but I have another problem that needs airing. I don't think it's fixtures, but forgive if we've already covered this:- 2 slices of toast, only enough marmite for 1. Now I loves my marmite, and I loves my marmalade. Obviously you can't have...