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Nonsense, salad cream was invented by rabbits in the late 19th century when they needed something to put humans off eating their supplies of Little Gem Lettuce. Fact. I concur that it certainly played its part as a gravity defying lubricant during the space race in the 1960s and it's toxic...

There's a very good reason why the salad cream was the only thing left in the cupboard. Since the Belgiums invented mayonnaise in 1986 we've had no need of this tart slop to ruin our otherwise tasty salads! So, in the cupboard is where that shabby excuse for a condiment should remain. Cue...