But...but you come across as such a simpleton, and an arrogant one too.
Suffice to say, this post is funnier than your joke. Because sorry to say, but you don't make anyone look stupid. Ever.
Unless of course, the Arse (or anyone for that matter) were playing Palace, the jammiest spawniest twunts known to professional football. In which case, the ref would send off the fella, and two more for good measure.