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Panicking is altogether premature. A change of manager, and sacking the director of football, and this ship turns right around.

Stuck across the pond, I'm a connoisseur of the BBC text page, and based on the rare times I can snag a live stream, and compare, I'm beginning to think that their match stats are generated with a 20-sided die from and old Dungeons and Dragons set.

I hope we're keeping young Master Walton safe in cotton batting and excelsior....