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Hometown discount. You'd stick it to an oil sheik, but your neigbors -- you'd make them a deal, surely. And only a schlemiel would pay retail anyways.

Simples. 20,000 fans each stump up £1000. That way the owner(s) can fire themselves at the first hint of a run of bad form. Me Out! And transfer decisions can be reached by using the same voting system as Strictly Come Dancing.

For too many people, the decade-long battle to oust Belotti and Archer, and get a new home for the team, was their Spitfire summer. Protests, marches, the Forty Notes thing. Backs to the wall. David v. various Goliaths. Fans United. It was wonderful -- but only whenever it wasn't awful. Some...