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Nothing wrong with an Italian themed courtyard thank you very much.

I think you will find that turf grows in every area of the country. Go to any B&Q and buy a roll of artificial and while you are sitting in the sun you can shout 'mower wanker' over the fence to your neighbours.

Told you so. Go down the pub instead.

I thought the idea was to get the whole lawn looking good not just areas of it. I would ask for my money back. The answer to the OP is to lay artificial grass or do a Fred West and pave it over. The Brits and their bloody lawns make me laugh, what you going to do play bowls on it or something...