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I don’t like it when restaurants put a service charge on their bills. Does the waiter or waitress get it ? If they do it’s taxed if you pay by card. Isnt it ?

I remember when dustmen forced their way through overgrown back alleys to pick up heavy, stinking metal dustbins - and in my case half filled with rubble from work - so I did used to keep a extra fiver in my wallet just in case I bumped into then at the end of the alley at 7.05 a.m.

I don’t like tipping. Sometimes I get given a tenner or a twenty for working in someone’s house. It makes me feel awkward. I mean I’m already overcharging them as it is.

If he spun me a tune after he let go of my parcel I’d tip him.

I would have changed to egg and bacon after day 1.