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I was in the pub having a pint when my mate rushed in and said, "Your house is on fire. Your wife and kid are hanging out the bedroom window. Quick, call the fire brigade." I said, "Shit! I knew I left the house for something."

Saw a few damp black coats so got a bit concerned. Still, most of them seemed to be away to the dry and warm by 80 mins.

Blimey, a cynic from Croydon...who'd have thunk it? Was simply hoping you didn't get too damp. Enjoyed your drum on the tele though.

Hope you didn't get too soggy.

It was a joke.....aaaahh? It is said that if a joke needs explaining then it might be struggling already.

How very quaint, if a tad disturbingly odd.