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  1. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    The Malteser Falcon - Humphrey Bogart as a private eye trying to trace a priceless statue in the shape of some popular chocolate
  2. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    The Kings Peach - Colin Firth as the Royal who somehow uses fruit to boost his confidence
  3. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    Up In Smerk - Cheech and Chong visit Newcastle
  4. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    Days of Chunder - Tom Cruise as a NASCAR driver who gets travel sick. Hove,Actually - Hugh Grant as a smug,middle-class resident of Poets Corner
  5. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    Police Community Support Officer Academy - Steve Guttenberg stars as a Blunkett Bobby
  6. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    Absolut Beginners - Patsy Kensitt and David Bowie get wrecked on Vodka
  7. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    Deaf On the Niall - same story but with subtitles
  8. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    Death On the Niall - Steve Bruce commits suicide in front of the former Sunderland chairman
  9. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    Back to the Fuschia - Michael J Fox is a time travelling gardener
  10. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    Moolan Rouge - Spectacular, spectacular, a bovine spectacular!
  11. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    Beatlejuice - Sir Paul reprises the role of Michael Keaton The Day of the Jackie - Sir Jackie Stewart is the hitman attempting to assassinate Charles De Gaulle
  12. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    Stingmata - Gordon Sumner spends 90 minutes bleeding in the Brazillian rainforest
  13. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    Pilates of the Caribbean - The adventures of Captn. Jack Sparrow and his bloody big ball
  14. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    Fartal Attraction - Glen Close takes a flatulent revenge on Michael Douglas Clocktail - Tom Cruise isn't so fecking smug now he's got to throw a couple of grandfather clocks in the air
  15. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    Toyah,Toyah,Toyah! - The 80's pop star fights for the Japs in World War2 Angus Deyton,Bridget Joneses and Sloppy Kisses - A plotline too weird to contemplate
  16. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    The Postman never rings ever, he just leaves a card telling me to go to the depot in 24hrs time
  17. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    Who fwamed Woger Wabbit - Jonathan Ross stars in the remake
  18. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    GodCilla - A scouse reptile with an irritating voice, 'surprises' the unsuspecting Mersey public by smashing over their homes
  19. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    Bugger-all Expectations - A young boy realises he's a nobody and will never amount to anything
  20. P

    Enough of the gloom. Film titles that didn't quite cut it.

    British Summer Holiday - Cliff Richard spends 6 weeks moaning about the bad weather
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