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The judge was a lovely fella and the jury were a smashing set of lads.

<Mungo> "You sure do have a purdy mouth, Ray." <Big Baz> "Stay on your feet and use your head." <Donger> "I'll play in the hole" <Wilkins> "My word. What a great set of lads."

Carry On Wilkins! If I was caught pissed behind a wheel then I'd want to be arrested by PC Skidmore, breathalysed by PC Boozey and thrown in a cell by Office Nick Slammer.

With a quite exceptional name: "District Judge Timothy Workman said he accepted the evidence given by arresting officer PC Nicholas Skidmore this week, that he saw Wilkins "weaving" in his car at the junction of Portsmouth Road and Fairmile Lane."

"The lads in the showers here at Parkhurst are all great lads, Martin. They're all lovely lads. A set of really good lads. Some of the nicest people you could ever wish to meet. Especially the lad behind the front two, playing in the hole - my word, what a talent."