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I grasped the unholy beast. with both hands, but couldn't even slightly control the brushemoth.

I'm a wannabe time-travelling philanderer, so I have a portrait of Nicholas Lyndhurst, with a ravaging look in his eyes and maniacal beam. At his 20th century foot he also has a dodo beak, which he collected on one of his trips to his 3 Mauritian wives, to whom he was the god of long faces, in...