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I get the feeling that a passenger might use a Chupa stick to stab an Easy who insists they have to put their handbag inside their hand luggage at boarding time. I'd probably boot the stabee, at that.

They better do 8ace. Oh yeah, they do, but to Victoria, which I don't like. Uber will have to carry me the rest of the way.

Thanks Mr Edward T Jett. Now I can't correct my Chula/Chupa typo! A coach could be an option I suppose. One of those times in which I want someone to pay, though, and I cannae quite see who. I can only hear their wheezy cackle and the helpless cries of the shaven cat they grapple.

True. I would rather they put us up in a hotel for the night really. The airport, I think rather rascally, closed all its shops for a few hours and seems to have turned its aircon off, and then opened up its duty free store about 40 minutes ago, dawnofthedeadishly dragging people in to suddenly...

I've had a lovely time in Lyon for the 48 hours before I arrived at the airport to fly home - I arrived early upon Easyjet's insistence that there could be a slight delay thanks to an airport rebuild. A message just over the tannoy to let me know that the replacement plane has just left Gatwick...