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If you had the opportunity, where would you keep him?

I'd give the advice lifelong to look sometimes around to see who you are one of many of. I was at a Shellac gig last night and surveyed the scene to spot a myriad of stiff, stomachy, slightly inebriated, mostly middle-aged chaps who didn't have room to take a huge amount of new culture into...

I'm with you there. Much better for people to like what they like without being ever-led by bombardments from think-they-know-it-alls. For as much as i am largely latterly that, it's a finer world with people in any part of the spectrum to mostly stick to their guns.

Can't we have Gary Barlow as from now on starred out swearword on NSC? I suddenly have the urge to maim or kidnap and feed him ever-fattening bread for a few months before releasing the original Obesey Barlow back into the world.

I wonder who would play the 12 year old girl in this bodyswap comedy. I can see the slightly decrepit Corey Feldmann in the adult male body role.

Yeah i'd like his face temporarily smashed in. I never watch The One Show, but the girlfriend disapproved of news briefly, so over we turned and which ubiquitous bellend do i find watching a clip of himself on two other upcoming programmes other than X-Factor? That's right readers, BARLOW. He...