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I sincerely apologise.

11 players from each of the 4 teams play 11 rounds of Super Mario Kart. 3rd place team picks the characters 4th picks the tracks 5th and 6th pick **** all. It's what Jimmy Hill would have wanted.

6th place team plays remotely via voice controls to a helmeted warrior a la the kids TV show Knightmare ("Sidestep left. sidestep left. Push Lewis Dunk over now") 5th place team has to wear racing blinkers over their eyes to restrict their field of vision plus those fancy dress costumes where it...