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Dirty knicks, 36. Ah, f*** it. I don't feel a day over 35.

Just in time for my birthday! :clap2: Which merely confirms the fact that "dirty old man" status has now been achieved.:down: :down:

Her man could have testicles like coconuts.

:ohmy: :ohmy: :ohmy: :eek: :eek: :eek: In ESSEX?!?! Have you just moved there or something?

:( :( :( Well that's ruined the only reason I came into work today. Listen, he might be shagging some white stiletto-heeled slapper in his Cortina RIGHT NOW. Us men are like that: bad people. (so let's see the pics!!)

Do you know the NSC poster known as Romford Dave? Clue: he likes his aftershave (which may not be unusual there, I realise)

As, like Afters, you're from Essex, do you or your family a) drive a Ford Capri b) listen to Chas and Dave c) do LINEDANCING?

Scuse me a second, I just need to pop to the gents

An Essex girl eh? Hellooo *spits phlegmily into right hand, smooths down hair*