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So if my friend was sniffing around for a spare for tomorrow, preferably but not necessarily in the WSU, how would my friend best go about that? Obviously this friend is a very bad criminal in the first place for even contemplating helping out a fellow Brighton fan with a spare.

So if someone - say, I dunno, someone of my general size, shape and build (i.e. a fat sod) - was after a spare ticket for Saturday but didn't fancy sitting behind a goal, wanted to enquire as to whether any other fans had any, then the club that WE all saved from extinction would get shitty with...