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As an - American - mate of mine has just pointed out, if Boycott did beat his missus it must have taken HOURS.

Nah, rubbish. It's simply the right thing to have done, not just buying "spirit of cricket" brownie points, important though that is. But we can beat them fair and square anyway - not seeing we will but we can, so no point in stoking them up by committing a perceived injustice.