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The criteria can be baffling. I believe that one rule that applies high up the pyramid is that if your team name includes the word "Doncaster", you ain't good enough.

And why do we play first team games at a stadium that holds 30,000 people? Quite unnecessary, since almost none of that number contribute anything to winning first team matches. Even the money they spend is pointless, since Tony Bloom is so rich that he could fund as much success as he wants.