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There is in fact an ambulance base only half a mile away that will be affected.

You're not the first to make such an offer. So far we have Spain, Hawaii and Lancing. I've never liked Lancing.

Ah. The shed. I never asked him what he kept in the safe that was tucked away behind the lawnmower.

For what it's worth ... the nice man from Atkins Rail is staying at a hotel in Eastbourne that costs £107 a night for a double room with breakfast.

The papers? I was thinking the European Court of Human Rights.

We've just had a visit from a very nice man from Atkins Rail to inform us (that's the Bracknell household and our neighbours) that Network Rail will be closing our road for the whole of next week (starting at midnight on Sunday) to allow them to dig up and replace the level crossing that we have...