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Good appointment if true. I know he's a ridiculous figure but he can get his teams playing.

Hiney looks happy. Parish not so. Win win.

Has got to be the only bugger left now surely.

He's happy because he can doss about in training like he did with Wurzel.

Oh I never felt more like singing the blues... Ha ha parp ha ha ha.

Parp.

Parp.

If I was to be like you I'd have to take a look at myself in my clown suit on matchdays and probably decide I'd had enough of this cruel world, jump in my car with its comedy doors falling off and bonnet pinging up and down with, with parps and confetti flying drive off beachy head to land with...

I can't hate you. I have tried believe me...I just can't. How can I hate your brightly coloured jester outfits and ultras? I hate Nazis and jihadis. You lot just make me vaguely nauseated and full of pity.

No. Not hatred. I genuinely pity you. Whenever I see one of your harlequin shirts being worn I think " oh you poor soul" I am frustrated. I think that, despite all of the shenanigans off the pitch your players have done an amazing job. You did a number on us AGAIN and got into the PL at our...

The football club is an avatar for the location...can you think of Liverpool without LFC or Manchester without United or city?. Well, you could lie I suppose but I honestly don't think you can. When one thinks of Brighton and Hove Albion one thinks of Britains most prosperous cities, fun and...

Yes mate. Croydon or Brighton? You decide.

Tell us about your myriads of friends then? Have you just left them at the ministry of sound so you can come home and post some more tedium on NSC at 2am?

This. I have worked all over the country and whenever the subject of Palace comes up the usual response is that they're two bob. Brighton, on the other hand, seem to be widely liked and a lot of football people recognise our epic struggles.

What station was that? Can't be talkshit...the place is rammed with palace apologists

At the moment. You'll be eating those words in a few months I reckon.

If you were a Brighton fan you'd be a lot better dressed and more popular with women. You'd also have more friends and be a more rounded individual. Hey ho.

Makes me wonder what Pulis knew about all of this business when he was having those "robust" conversations with prince charming before he walked out. Oh, and of course you're right. Supporting palace must be a entertaining experience. It certainly keeps the rest of us interested in your chimps...