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Errmmm that was me mate, and errrmm is was nay dog shite. Apologies. Ayee 'twas the old poo cairn. At least you didn't put your hand or foot anywhere near the empty crisp packet a few feet away. MAN am I glad you dodged that one... you did dodge it, right?

I've said it before and I'll say it again: People who insist on driving at 70mph in the fast lane of a motorway, I mean FFS! Are you unable to see my MASSIVE BMW wedged up your arse?!? I'm flashing my lights, pulling left, swerving right... GET OUT OF MY F'ING WAY you sad ****. I also reserve...