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If I was in the restaurant at the time, I'm afraid I'd want compensation for that....

I think he's got enough cash - so he should be allowed to throw wet sponges at the head of Yorkshire Police, who will be in stocks, with a half-inflated paddling pool in front of him. All of this, live on YouTube. As an extra incentive, Sir Cliff will be able to dip the sponges in buckets of...