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There's just something about being overweight and wearing scuba gear that both myself, and the baying public, want to see in action. Apparently.

No really, I've applied. I want to love Mondays too.

Roy Keane >>>>>> Clarke Carlisle. And yes, those 'greater than' symbols are accumulative.

The Cube is on. Did I piss for too long? Am I writing in song?

Dear reed.co.uk, I recently viewed your television advert with enthralled enthusiasm as I, too, would like to become an Electro Funk DJ, as shown in your advertisement. Please post me all of the available Electro Funk DJ posts in the West Sussex area as I feel I would make an excellent...

I heard the Everton fans singing about Ulloa. Speculation?

Clark Carlisle sounds like a heavily sedated Gary Barlow. Presumably with less football insight as well.