Falkor - so many people on here are offering their help; please use it - we all want to help you buddy!
You have the strength to push through this; you just need to talk it through and have some clarity. Lots of great advice on this thread. Pick the person (people) you feel drawn to and talk to...
Thank you to those that took action.
I don't know you Falkor, but you're amongst people that care. We're all different, but have experienced bad times - they affect us in different ways. But we can empathise and sometimes you just need to talk things out and realise that you're not on your own...