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Nick Hewer has just tweeted that he is jacking in the Apprentice after Sunday. Guess he is sticking to falling asleep to the Countdown click.

As a warm up here for Sunday's final, here is the wonderful Apprentice piss take made by those wonderful chaps at Modern Toss. All 5 episodes are on youtube. Below Episode 1 where Business Mouse gets into the Theme park business with theme park Peter. www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hr3eT3kZz4A

I hate all the sucking up when they get fired now. It was 'Thanks for the opportunity' Then it moved onto 'I've had an incredible experience' and now it's 'Thankyou Lord Sugar for the opportunity, Thankyou Nick, Thankyou Karen, Thanks to the camera man, Thanks to the guy who does the voiceover...

Yes but it's also a telly programme and they know by now what we want to see. I'd imagine Claude will tear daniel a new ******** next week and it'll be cracking viewing. I wouldn't be surprised if sugar had pissed his pants laughing at his plans and kept him in for shits and giggles.

An obvious problem is ; Dara : Tonight on you're fired, it's 30 minutes of absolutely nothing....

Off to the Tate modern Task about puddings. Obviously.

These guys are high flyers (in thier own minds anyway) They Poo BEFORE bed

Iron I reckon

Any fancy a game of The relationship guru? What a load of shit

The only disappointment this week was that they didn’t get the candidates to drive the coach as well. You just know they would have ended up hopelessly lost in Chatham rather than Canterbury asking some hooped earring girl chav with a push chair ‘’Where are the Chatham tales exhibition love? As...

I was in the Sandwich shop the other day and I think it was the Daily Star (one of the PROPER newsworthy papers anyway) who ran a story that pouty girl has been doing the do with James. What was she thinking?

I'm glad I'm not the only one who couldn't watch it at times. My favourite bit Sugar ''When someone asked what happened between Henry the VIII and Anne Boleyn you didn't know'' Blonde Girl ''I said they grew apart Lord Sugar'' Sugar ''Bit of an understatement. Her head grew apart from her body''

this is torture

Lets face it Czechmate, The Apprentice is no more a 'Biznizz' show than Eastenders is an accruate portrayal of life in London. It's about seeing jumped up bell ends getting their comeuppance when S'ralan boots them out and watching them balls up an activity so easy your average primary schoold...

I'd lie my tits off if I answered that phone. 'Wrong number chaps back to bed'

My favourite bit is always the completely vague linkage between the contestants being shipped to some location and the tenuous link to task that they have to complete that week < Sugar points at each team menacingly, Brady and Nick adopt serious faces > ''I've bought you to the Tower of...