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Taking a Kitkat into one of the lounges at the AMEX will save you 90p.

My tip is to keep a cheap bottle of shampoo in the bathroom but then help yourself to the wife’s wide array of ridiculously priced hair products. The cheap bottle makes her think I have my own shampoo; when I did once run out the first thing she asked was if Iwas using hers. Those who know me...

That’s nothing. “More than €15m of cocaine found in bananas sent to Berlin supermarkets” https://www.theguardian.com/world/2015/may/04/more-than-15m-cocaine-bananas-berlin-aldi-supermarkets (Typed by Herr Tubthumper rather quickly and confidently)