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You forgot colonic irrigation. Using a genuine agricultural water delivery system for a 1,000 acre field of thirsty sweetcorn. No resistance to high velocity flow anticipated. Apart from Lozza's thready colon, caecum and, let's face it, his ordinarily reticent duodenum. Possibly even the high...

Mad. I was in Oxford nearly eleven years ago on my first date with Mrs T, in a swanky bistro. Lozza was at the bar (this was lunchtime) drinking on his own and fiddling with his phone. Then going out for a fag. Then twitching back to his perch. Like a jilted teenager, or someone trying to...

A pity Big Kev retired. Great series. Like Morse, but without the misogyny. I would have gladly watched a series with Hathaway as lead. Sadly the nobby twat decided to tank himself for real, instead. Sad.