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Stilton. No. Doesn't even bear thinking about beginning to work. Unless very ripe, perhaps.

I was only kidding.

Not sure if this one has been posted yet but one of the key facts about cheese, its use and its wearing is that less is often more.

In the law (in Canada, certainly). Cheese is the product of milk and bacteria. Cheesefood is cheese, melted, mixed with extra ingredients (e.g., gelatine, colouring, lard, emulsifying agents, monosodium glutamate and larks' vomit) cooled, set, glazed, irradiated and consequently as close to...

Strictly speaking this isn't cheese, it is cheesefood slices.

For the true cheese fetishist, nothing 'beats' this: