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You were lucky. A mate of mine fell asleep on a bus and woke up in Brixton bus depot. He was arrested, charged with being drunk in a public place and was up before the beak on Monday morning.

I once caught a bus from Belgrade to Timisoara: it was dirt cheap, only 4 euros but my Serbian friends laughed when I said I was getting it - I soon found out why. We had to get a train to the outskirts of Belgrade, we stopped outside a field. The field looked like Wild Park does after the...