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Windsurfing --> Mindsurfing An inception style event, though due to the lack of requisite dream-diving technology the winner will be the participant who has the most entertaining LSD trip (from an observers point of view).

Squash --> Squath Small children chase their parents around with squash rackets demanding Ribena by shouting 'Squath' the entire time. Winner is the first to either a) fill their glass or b) cripple their parent

Bungee Jump - Bungle Jump Exactly the same as the normal bungee jump, but with participants required to be dressed as, and in the character of, Bungle from 'Rainbow' the entire time.

Boxing --> Boring Two combatants take their place in the centre of the ring and try their hardest to bore the other into submission through a mix of conversation and bad jokes. The current reigning champion caused his opponent to have a hemorrhage after a 10 hour lecture on the merits of the...

Snowboarding --> Snowhoarding Each participant must collect as much snow from an in-use piste as possible. Extra bonus points given for over-excitability, use of the word 'rad' and providing your own commentary full of baffling lingo. (In case anyone gets the wrong idea, I actually like...