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'Come here my love, I wish to caress your chee*thud*...I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to do that, let me have a look at i*thud*, why oh why did I give up my hands? Why?!' This is of course assuming that you don't replace your hands with hooks or other somesuch implement, that little play would be...

Your hands?

He's a kind guy but an immeasurably smug one. Then again, if you subscribe to the notion that he doesn't really exist in any physical sense and is instead representative of Cameron's 'inner battle' to shake off his demons then it could be said Cameron is in fact a smug git waiting to happen.