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I had to check if that was a parody account. I’m still not sure.

Text from my 16 year old son received as I was travelling to work: “Palace have reappointed the half dead owl” When you know you’ve done ok at parenting…

Their squad is terrible. The only players they've got who I'd want in our squad are Eze and Guehi (and that one's only if we don't keep Colwill). The SEGW upped his game as usual on Weds but he's generally sulky and inconsistent, their full backs are terrible on the ball, their midfield's weaker...

Aren't we all Icy, aren't we all.

All joking aside they're just coming out of a run of incredibly tough games. Arsenal away is now a free hit. They've then got very easy games in April. Should they beat the likes of Leeds, Southampton and Everton the goon squad will no doubt claim their new manager is a genius and so is Parish...

"Come in Agent Viera, I'm afraid you've blown your cover"