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Que? Was is das? I see that Peter Stringfellow is a fan, so it must be, errr, [insert appropriate adjective]. The list of stockists includes most major supermarkets, but on further investigation, it transpires that it's only branches in South Yorkshire (for some) or solely Sheffield (for...

I loathe marmite as a spread, but can see that your serving suggestion could really work; I'll try it. I'll have to nick some Marmite off someone though; I'll be buggered if I'm going to actually buy any. If you like Umami, you should get yourself over to Noma. Not content with powdered...

I was going down this list thinking - ok, ok, ok, ok; until I got to the emboldened line, at which point I fell over and started gibbering. WTF is Marmite doing with scrambled egg? For that matter: Marmite? WTF.

Is, of course, the correct answer. Except mayo with chips. Obviously.