The deal is OFF.
After in-depth negotiations with the powers-that-be here, I can confirm that I have signed a new long-term contract on a wage and status more befitting my contributions here, with plenty of performance-related bonuses built in.
On a personal note, I am happy to have committed...
*****UPDATE*****
We were edging closer to agreeing terms, but there has been late interest in hijacking the deal by a leading FC Barcelona forum. More to come...
...apparently the Palace BBS has put in a late transfer bid for me, and are waiting for permission from Bozza as to whether or not they can discuss personal terms.