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That's rich coming from someone living in Newhaven! I'm guessing that you've never been to Beckenham? Most of it is so posh that I feel like an impostor.

We have a baby crawling around, so shoes off for everyone. I never used to be too worried, but Mrs Flex has made me feel pretty strongly about it. The streets are filthy and I don't want the remnants of dirt, chewing gum, dogshit, vomit, mud or whatever being trodden around where I relax.