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It is to my eternal shame (and secret pride) that I have pornographic literature and film of every depravity known and imagined between consenting adults (and the occasional onlooking farmyard animal), but even I could not bear to watch something taking place in a place such as this.

I think we should have an NSC crowdfund for this for BG's Christmas present.

Double bag it.

Oh my days. Could you imagine bringing a woman back to your flat, a few proseccos, some major Barry White on the stereo, a few sweet nothings in the ear leaving her dripping like an unplugged fridge, and then take her to THIS bedroom.