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Meh. The free kick and the one where he dribbled were okay, but the majority were just lucky volleys facing away from goal and often within 30 yards of the net. To me he's just Chris Holroyd with an Alice hairband.

Never. Zlatan isn't a casual racist who makes money on the side from showing people around his team's football ground and knocks off his mates ex. Or if he did do the latter, it would be whilst the mate was WATCHING.

If Alan Partridge was a footballer, this is how his autobiography would read.