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I can see there is beauty in the game as a concept, the satisfaction of having the right teams and kits no matter how famous or obscure, and then pitching them against one another. And I TRIED to like it, I really did. But in the end, the mechanics of the game just left me cold and I quickly...

Sorry. The IDEA of a football game, with all the proper teams and kits lovingly reproduced, even having replica stadiums or just stands round the pitch is amazing. But in reality, the actual experience of playing Subbuteo was (and is) complete gubbins. It doesn't work.

Admittedly I never had the patience to get good at it. For me it was just so far removed from football as to be pointless. The ball was the size of the players, the pitch was usually all creased, and the experience of nudging the base of a player and flicking a little plastic ball into a goal...

That model Goldstone is an absolute work of art, massive kudos to whoever put that together. But Subbuteo was shit. There, I said it.

And the WEEDS growing through the terraces. That truly is a thing of beauty though. I'd love to have that in a glass case somewhere in the house.