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Then he should be dragged screaming by the hair from the Amex this very afternoon, put up against a wall, and shot in the FACE.

Be fair. Even a Del Boy / Swiss Tony double-act wouldn't manage to pull that off.

"I've bought you all to a second division football grand to sell some sweets. Naa, some of the fans ere' will pay eight quid for a flat pint of piss and a cold ot' dog, AND they'll queue alf' an aar for the privilege. They'll also stump up twelve quid just to walk into a glorified caff. Naa, if...