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I bet it does not involve any writing. I do not work in an office apart from my one at home, but I can spell tarmacked.

Dont give up the day job

The fire brigade phones Tony Bloom in the early hours of the morning... "Mr Bloom sir, The Amex is on fire!" "The cups! Save the cups!" cries Tony. "Uh, the fire hasn't spread to the canteen yet, sir."

A Brighton fan walks past a shop and sees the video "Brighton - The Glory Years". He goes into the shop and asks how much. "£100" says the shopkeeper. "That's a bit steep, how come it's so dear??" "Well it's a tenner for the video and £90 for the Betamax recorder!!

I went to Millets and said 'I want to buy a tent.' He said 'To camp?', I said [butchly] 'Sorry, I want to buy a tent.' I said 'I also want to buy a caravan.' He said 'Camper?' I said [campily] 'Make your mind up.'