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Going for a swim off Seaford beach this morning, sitting down to get me kit off..and putting my hand straight into a heap of moist dog shit someone had covered over with stones. Nice.

Motorists who wait at pedestrian crossings when all the people have crossed, just because the light's still red. Think of all the seconds we could save ourselves by not waiting, and I don't even use a car. By the end of every road tax year it would probably work out at something like 434...

Ah good old R4, I do try it occasionally, but it's never long before it morphs into the listening equivalent of riding a bucking bronco - how long you can hang on for before the hanging stench of middle class pomposity has you reaching for retune/throwing the radio out of the nearest window...

Yep

You really didn't need to write any more than this.

If you have it running down the wall the drag effect prevents your children/wife/boyfriend/live-in hermaphrodite reeling off loads of shit roll, thereby saving you 27p per week on aforementioned chocolate log roll. Against the wall every time.