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Or even a nod to the Ramirez 'injury' at Boro last season: "Who Killed Bambi?"

I think the part that might work is the bit after that line. The "ba...badada" bit. I'll be honest though, it always works better in my head than when I try it out loud.

The one chant that I keep trying to get going is my alternative to "We are Brighton, super Brighton": "We are Brian...Super Brian We are Brian...so's my wife" I know I'm easily amused but that always makes me chuckle.

As is Glen Murray. My comments are tongue-in-cheek. I've had a long-standing, irrational dislike for Murray ever since he signed for Palace and my mates have all teased me this season as Murray banged in goal after goal for us and asking me if I'd finally forgiven him. My answer was that I...

Fair enough! Maybe try for something between the two. And now I'm trying to think of a musician who would be halfway between Eddie Tenpole Tudor and Neil Diamond. Someone posh, of Jewish descent, writes catchy pop tunes, transatlantic...step forward Mark Ronson.

I've always thought Tenpole Tudor's 'Swords of a Thousand Men' could the basis for a bloody fantastic football chant. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5AywIL5_eYM

Dunno. Probably. Possibly.

I bet you it's that bloody Murray who got them all singing it.

No.