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To a Millwall fan a bloke with a caravan is posh. There's no parallel universe thingywotsit, it's just the natural order of things: Brighton > Palace > Millwall.

I know, bit crap but we're all bereft of ideas. We did think about copying some German team's chant and then pretending that we invented it but then realised that would make us look like a bunch of c*nts. Anyway, How's it going with the Holmesdale Massif? Respeck due and tings, blud. I heard...

I don't claim to have invented it but I also tried to get going a "We've got Gustavo, you've got a physio" against Southampton at Withdean a few years back too.

Ooh! I think I invented that at Millwall earlier this year (the "We've got a Catalan, you shop at Matalan" chant). Perhaps someone else came up with it independently but if not then I'm on a frigging roll with new chants wot I thunked up.