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The only cracker in my box that did anything remotely like it was supposed to was in Aston Villa colours with a little disclaimer inside saying contents have to be returned in January! :rant:

Why did Cinderella run away from the ball? Because Nathan Jones had been coaching her.

What have Brighton and Hove Albion and Nemo got in common? They've both got a useless fin.

Mrs Hyypia, Christmas morning after all the presents have been opened: "What are you going to do with the rubbish?" Sami, pulling on his trainers and grabbing his car keys: "Just some stretches and maybe a few sprints. They've got a match tomorrow."

Why did Sami accidentally phone Ernest instead of Guy Garvey? Because he doesn't know his ARS from his Elbow.

Why isn't Sami climbing up the wall? Because he's sliding down the table.

Bought of Albion crackers from the Club shop and pulled the first few tonight... "Why hasn't Sami Hyypia got a dog?" "Because he can't hold onto a lead." ???