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Last December Essex police placed adverts in our local paper that went something along the lines of, "If you're going to have a drink this Christmas, do yourself a favour and take a bus home." Breaking into the bus was no problem, but trying to park it outside my house after 8 pints of Peroni...

Maybe just hang the drunk cyclist as they are dead already? No chance of a drawn out appeal and justice will have been seen to have been served. Everybody's a winner!* * with the exception of the dead cyclist, obviously, who comes out as the main loser in this particular scenario, followed by...