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You might want to have your optimism radar checked out - it might be malfunctioning. I don't think there is huge optimism here at all. Much of what you may be detecting is very much tongue in cheek (and looking at your FMTTM forum, your fans do not seem able to detect very obvious humour and...

No, really you can't. Unless you are Steve Gibson or one of his close advisors you will not have the intimate knowledge required to make such an assertion. However, I believe you are likely to be compliant. Gibson is clearly a decent man with the club at heart and won't want to put Boro at risk...

Defensive of what? My little how-dare-they-have-the-temerity-to-not-have-let-us-be-promoted-by-now football club? You've spent a ridiculous amount of money on a side that should have romped this division and be, as they say, "on the beach" already. You had 11 points on us recently. And a game...

As I've already said, it should be a cakewalk for the Championship Galacticos. We should just be grateful that they've pretended to under-perform for much of the season in order to give us a chance. Although, clearly we don't actually have a chance. We might as well start planning for next...

Fair enough. I think we can all work these stats to suit ourselves by excluding various bits and bobs. In other news, we have gone undefeated against Manchester United at home for 34 years and counting.

Blimey - a Boro fan hinting at some element of weakness. I knew there would be one out there somewhere...

You lost at Wembley to Norwich. Painful I appreciate, and you've tried to forget it, but it did happen. I was merely responding to that one point about your central defenders only having lost one game and that was Fulham away. It's wrong. You are the favourites. You should have been up weeks...

Nor was the game at Fulham that you mentioned was the only time you'd lost. I guess if you keep pretending certain games didn't happen, you can keep this impressive stat going for a long time. Let me help: Boro have never lost a game where Ayala and Gibson started together, when Boro were at...

Impressive record. Unfortunately for you, it is also completely bollocks. They played together in your last big game. At Wembley. When you lost. And conceded two.

It could simply involve Steve Sidwell, as was the case at Birmingham, until such time as we need either a... Plan B: Shit - they've scored, we now need two. Plan C: Seventy-five minute stalemate achieved, let's throw the works at them now.